dear cep...
In my very first CEP class, we were asked to reflect on the quarter we spent exploring the idea of community through a zine format, where each person’s three pages would be compiled into a final class zine. I used my pages to think about three different themes that had come through for me in our discussions — history, identity and community. As I created this portfolio, I looked back at my artwork and artist statement for this project. The adjectives I chose to describe community were “complex” and “grounding.” Now, with four years of college and many experiences of community behind me, I still find these adjectives to ring true. I reflect on lessons in community here, and the ways that my experiences with them have been lessons in complexity, groundedness, and so much more.
Before CEP, the community that took center stage in my life was sorority. Completely adrift in the middle of freshman year, this community was instrumental to my wellbeing as a freshman and sophomore, and important to my understanding of the nuance of community — how instances of genuine community and a fundamentally inequitable and exclusionary system (that should be abolished) can exist at the same time. My sorority experience had so many lessons in community: (1) Whatever you choose to call the unspoken understanding between a large group of people that you are welcome, and will be met with a genuine desire to connect, understand, support and hold each other accountable, (we called it sisterhood), is integral to a healthy community. (2) Community is built on shared values and commitments, and it is good to be vocal about what those are, to discuss them, to create spaces for reflection, for growth, for change when needed. (3) Community requires intention and spaces (physical or otherwise) to connect. Being able to live in the same space with a majority of my sorority community and viewing that space as home was undoubtedly really helpful for the strength of the community. However, connections and relationships are kept alive past a physical space through intention. Being a part of a community is nothing if not an ask to be intentional. (5) Perhaps the most important lesson — a community can be simultaneously be loving & welcoming and harmful & deeply flawed. Instances of genuine community and a fundamentally inequitable and exclusionary system can exist at the same time. What I consider to be the community I had during my sorority experience was localized to our chapter, but that did not separate it from a racist, ableist, sexist, classist, and often abusive tradition of greek life, nor a national organization playing at being sisterhood-oriented to cover up its capitalistic nature.
My sorority dissolved for many reasons. Remarkably resilient, if only because of the amazing individuals involved, as the 2020-2021 school year went on, the formalized, institutional part of the sorority (which was rotten anyway) fell apart. (read my op ed on the sorority experience here). I was happy to have CEP, seeing the strong bonds the seniors had and knowing how wonderful a community our cohort had the potential to become. As the year trudged on, through COVID and zoom screens, I personally wondered how, or if, we would ever get there. I was angry, sad, but mostly disappointed at how fragmented and dissimilar from the senior cohort ours felt. Would this community ever fully materialize for all of us? (not just the ten people who were admirably outspoken on zoom). I can only speak for myself, but I saw us struggle trying to create an entirely virtual community. We knew each other, and at the same time didn’t really know each other at all. When the time finally came to connect in person, it was like fireworks. The transition was not automatic, nor always easy, but I think, being very aware of what online CEP lacked, we all came in with so much gratitude for the opportunity and the intention to make up for lost time.
The CEP community is very different, particularly at first glance, from my past sorority community. But CEP shares some of its best parts, including but not limited to a strong emphasis on governance processes, core values & reflecting on them, and a very genuine “Welcome! We want you here :)” attitude. CEP has given me so many new and needed lessons in community of its own, including: (1) Healthy communities are change-oriented. When tradition doesn’t serve us anymore, we can and will take steps to change it through group discussion, careful deliberation and consensus. CEPsters are in the business of reimagination, which is particularly needed in this moment for a just and ethical future. (2) Individuals in community are similar and different in beautiful ways. CEP knows this and is always asking where and how we can make space for each of us and celebrate each other.
My time in CEP has also involved academic, leadership, and personal growth, but I reflect on community because I value and am completely enthralled by the everyday exploration and pursuit of human connection. I’ve met so many amazing folks during my time in CEP. You all have made an impact on me, and I can’t wait to see where we all end up down the road. Thank you for being the best part of my time in CEP <3
Love,
Sasha
